Seems like being single is one of the hardest part of being single. Lets being honest, it seems like EVERYONE is in a relationship today. From social media relationships to your best friend, it seems like everyone found their special someone, but you right? Besides, as a christian, it’s hard to find a someone who lives up to our standards as a christian. It seems like being a christian comes with so many rules that no one seems to follow. Waiting til marriage to have sex, going to church together, not getting drunk and high together all seems like a foreign concept to young adults our age, some people even think marriage is just a piece of paper. But following God is not just about following rules, it is a relationship where he try to protect you the best way he can.
WAITING TO HAVE SEX:
Abstinence does not have to be torture, it does not speak negatively about you. It proves you know your worth. -anonymous.
Waiting to have sex in this generation seems almost impossible. Everyone is doing it right? And did the bible REALLY say to wait until we’re married, I’ve never seen scripture about it. How do I even wait to have sex? These are all common things I hear from young adults on a regular basis. Really waiting for marriage is not about pleasing God. God is not telling you not to do things to prevent you from having fun. Everything God tells you is for your protection, not for his.
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body” 1 Corinthians 6:18 NLT
Sex is the only sin that you literally invite other spirits to come into your body. Once you begin having sex with someone your souls inter-wind and you two literally become one. What ever spirit that person has, it enters into you and can begin to take over. Unfortunately, I did not wait to have sex. This caused many problems in my life as I went through college I did not understand why. I was no longer happy, I put a smile on my face outside of my home but once I was in the comfort of my own room I realized I was not myself. I did not understand where this depression came from. I just knew I was not who I used to be. Once I rededicated my life to God he pointed out a few things to me. He told me ” I wanted you to wait for sex not to ruin your fun, but to prevent the spiritual and physical STD that occurs when you do not have sex my way.” I was so confused by the statement of a spiritual STD. I did not have a physical STD, but did I acquire a spiritual STD? Then I realized, he meant a soul tie. A soul tie is nothing but an STD that takes a lot to get rid of. A lot of prayer, bible reading and time spent with God was the medication I needed to get rid of this spiritual STD. God does not want to hinder our fun, he wants to protect us from what the enemy turn into a twisted game. There were many things I had to do to prepare my mind and body for waiting to have sex. Please continue to follow my blogs on ways I prepared my mind, body, and soul to wait until marriage to have sex.
Just a piece of paper
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.- Genesis 2:24 NLT
A common misconception that a lot of people in this generation believe is that marriage is a piece of paper. I have friends who have dated guys for five plus years who said that they do not need to get married, because it is only a piece of paper and they love each other without it. But if a guy really loves you, wouldn’t he want to make a honest woman out of you? Why spend years playing house with someone and never getting married? Most guys who spend years with a person and not get married usually leaves once their children get old enough to avoid child support. There was a man my mom once knew who was dating a lady for years. They had two kids together and she believed they were in love. After dating for over 20 years their youngest child finally turn 18. Once the youngest turned 18 the dad moved in with his long term “side piece” who he had a secret child by and married her. A man will not marry you, if you are not the one he wants to get married. Know your worth, don’t give someone husband/wife benefits without being married. God has the right spouse for you, you have to be spiritually and physically prepared.
Getting prepared
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
The best thing you can do in your time of singleness is prepare for your future spouse. There are different measures you can take to get ready to get married. The first step you should make is to prepare your mind. A lot of us have problems (low self esteem, lust, trust issues, etc…) we try to hide to the world, but we harbor deep down in our heart and do not realize how it truly effect us. The worst thing we can do is bring our problems into a God-given relationship. Social media glamorize people who have trust issues and people with bad attitudes in a relationship and make it seem like goals. When you are with the person God has for you, having these problems is toxic and can push people away. The best way to prepare for a relationship is to stop looking at social media relationships and talk to God about changes you need to make to prepare for a relationship.
The next thing that must be done is to find the hidden issues you might have that you believe that a relationship might change such as low self esteem. Most people believe if they get into a relationship they will love themselves, when the truth is you must love yourself first before you get into a relationship. I, for one, have to get past my issues with my weight. After college I gained my freshman 15, sophomore 20, etc. and once i noticed all the weight I gained, I tried to eat my pain away. This caused my self esteem to be so low I did not even want to get dressed in the morning. I used to pray for a guy who would show me I was beautiful and make me feel good about my weight, but God showed me I have to learn to love myself. I am now taking the extra measures to lose my extra weight and to love what I see in the mirror. We have to change our own perspective of how we view ourselves before we try to invite someone else in to change it for us. God made us in his image and no matter what we think we are beautiful. Once we believe it, others will as well.
Once you work on self esteem, you work on becoming one alone. The worse thing you can do is wait for someone to complete you. You must be complete before you find your spouse. I do not mean have every earthly thing you need, even though it’s not a bad idea to have it together, I mean mentally and spiritually. Some people might believe they can’t get closer to God without a spouse, or be happy until they get into a relationship, which is a toxic way of thinking. You have to find happiness even through your single time, and you will truly be happy in a relationship.
At the end of the day God already have your life mapped out for you. You have to trust Him and the process and know your truly love will come. The worst thing you can do in your time of singleness is to lose faith in God. Once you no longer trust what God has for you or what he say, you tie His hands in what he can do for you. Trust God and let him be God and watch how he moves in your life.
Young and Saved 